Subhanallah, alhamdulillah. Family, is indeed one of the biggest reason for me to express my gratitude to Allah, after Islam, Iman, and this Dakwah & Tarbiyah. I can't thank Allah more for this.
Whenever I love someone, I can't help but to pray that Allah choose them, to be in this Dakwah&Tarbiyah. What is a better place/position one can achieve than to be His helpers? - regardless, how helpless, how impossible that prayer seemed to me.
That is until, my elder brother....
The one whom I used to fight with when turning on the radio.
I hate all those crap songs he's listening to.
The one whom whatever I do - usrah, daurah, tajmik and many more - is his laughing stock.
.. got married to an ukht. And is joining usrah now.
Long way to go but, all the impossible seems so clear to me now. Allah is indeed the All-Hearing.
From that moment onwards, my prayers landscape has changed its tone. Full of confidence, full of hope. I know he'll grant our prayers.
The journey of Dakwah & Tarbiyah with your family is a whole different story. Regardless how many juniors you approached, how many halaqah you conducted, how many taujihat you presented, how many programmes you organised; your family is not - even close - to any of those.
They know the black and white - greys included - of you. Doing dakwah to them, tests the truth of your dakwah, you can hide nothing.
And them - each of them - have their own ego; now testing your hikmah. Subhanallah, a long journey indeed. But I shall not surrender.
I did not express it, but I can see Ummi's view, changed.
I remember, my mobility to programmes, were usually restricted by ummi and abi' permission. They used to say I am too busy, I need to spend more time home, I have to learn to appreciate the family..
That is until, I realised my dakwah and tarbiyah isn't balanced. I failed to do my part back home. I tried, changing.
Later on I see changes around me as well.
Plot twist.
Umi will be the one asking, "kenapa tak pergi?"
"Na, cuba la ajak kaklah sekali"
"Kaklah nak pergi vacation"
"Cuti tu kan panjang, takkan semuanya pergi vacation"
One habit that I think anyone who joins D&T will posses is, book obsession.
I kept on buying books, and during last summer holiday, I tidied up the room and have this one spot as my mini library. I didn't notice that ummi loves to have a look at the books at the corner. Until one day, I dig into her handbag to look for something but found one of my books in her handbag. Speechless, grateful deep down.
The last week before I flew back to the UK, Ummi asked me my plan for the week. I told her my plans for each day. One of them is to go to Sri Kembangan to shop books to bring back to the UK. Ummi just nodded, and on the day I wanted to go to the book shop, Umi told Yah in front of me,
"Yah, jom ikut kak diyana pergi kedai buku nak tak?"
Subhanallah, blessings all around.
Just keep on doing our best in D&T, outside, or back home. They didn't show, but they silently observe. I didn't promise it's going to be easy, but surely worth it.
Sindrom-sakit-rumah
Alhamdulillah.
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