Alhamdulillah
Thank you Allah
It's my first ramadhan abroad
Lepas maghrib tadi, macam tak percaya Allah izinkan lagi bernafas dalam bulan ramaadhan. Even at the time I type this down. MasyaAllah, It's ramadhan :')
So first thing first, syukur.
I can feel ramadhan this year more alive, than the previous one. InsyaAllah, will always be.
especially, during the tarawih just now.
MasyaAllah the imaam was reciting more than a page per rakaah.
Yet I fell in love in each and one of the verse.
All of them are cure for my heart
And Allah's love letter for me
The time I feel, really feel what is called 'hard' in dakwah,
how the most basic verse in surah al-Baqarah recited just now,
inni jaa'ilun fil ardhi khalifah
"verily will I create on earth, a caliph."
astaghfirullah. masyaAllah
A refreshment. of why I am on this path.
why I am in this world.
Now. that the way I see quran is different,
ramadhan has really feel different to me.
Now. I realise. I have really got a lot.
of tarbiyah throughout my 9 months of stay
in this UKE
For this ramadhan, I dont want to aim on quantity
I'm aiming for quality this time
InsyaAllah
1. Rawatib Muakkad
2. Madrasah malam
3. one juzu' one day minimum, no less.
4. eat just to fuel for ibadah, no fancy food.
hafazan.
reading of muhtawa.
To do small but consistent, is harder than to do in a lump sum.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Of the summer's nights
ketika exam Allah pujuk dengan janji-janjinya dalam surah At-Talaq
masa pergi camping, mengharapkan tarbiah Allah,
Allah belai dan ketuk suruh buka pancaindera lihat kebesaran dia
dari juzuk 17-21
masa cuti, concentrate gerak kerja DnT lokaliti,
diasak rasa berat, tak mampu, rasa kelu,
Allah support dengan surah az-Zumar, surah Fussilat...
Yang antaranya,
"Dan siapakah yang lebih baik perkataanya daripada orang
yang menyeru kepada Allah dan mengerjakan kebajikan dan berkata,
'sungguh aku termasuk orang yang berserah diri'?"
41:33
Allahu Allah.
Summer.
Benar-benar satu ujian daripada Allah.
Isya' yang lewat malam,
Dan subuh yang awal pagi..
Nangis bila salah satunya berterabur.
Bila guna option lain,
bertahan tak tidur sampai subuh,
Lepas subuh tidur saat matahari naik
dan seluruh kehidupan bumi bermula
Bangun terkebil-kebil dan lost momentum
Allah. Dilema sangat.
Malam tadi.
Astaghfirullah
Honestly lah isya' macam rushing sikit
sebab nak tidur awal, takut tak mampu bangun awal
Lepas isya', dirikan madrasah malam kejap
masih dengan mindset kena tidur awal
last-last rasa,
kenapa tak hadir perasaan dengan Allah ni?
Too humbled. Ampunkan aku ya Allah
Yang masih bertindak mengikut neraca aku dan bukan Engkau.
Sampai akhirnya berkata
kenapa nak rush? bukankah Allah pemilik dan pencipta tidur tu?
Astaghfirullah. Aku mahu Engkau ya Allah.
Maka tidur malam itu lebih kurang jam dua belas setengah.
Tanpa alarm, aku niat nak bangun tiga setengah
Dan tiba-tiba memang terbangun sendiri
Tapi rasa berat sangat kepala
Dan niat nak bangun pukul empat
Dan memang terbangun sendiri pukul empat tepat
Bila benar-benar meletakkan Allah pemilik tidur tu,
memang Allah lah yang menjadi pemiliknya.
Ya ghafur.
Allahumma ballighna ramadhan.
Sampaikanlah dengan 'sampai' yang sebenar, menurut neracaMu,
masa pergi camping, mengharapkan tarbiah Allah,
Allah belai dan ketuk suruh buka pancaindera lihat kebesaran dia
dari juzuk 17-21
masa cuti, concentrate gerak kerja DnT lokaliti,
diasak rasa berat, tak mampu, rasa kelu,
Allah support dengan surah az-Zumar, surah Fussilat...
Yang antaranya,
"Dan siapakah yang lebih baik perkataanya daripada orang
yang menyeru kepada Allah dan mengerjakan kebajikan dan berkata,
'sungguh aku termasuk orang yang berserah diri'?"
41:33
Allahu Allah.
Summer.
Benar-benar satu ujian daripada Allah.
Isya' yang lewat malam,
Dan subuh yang awal pagi..
Nangis bila salah satunya berterabur.
Bila guna option lain,
bertahan tak tidur sampai subuh,
Lepas subuh tidur saat matahari naik
dan seluruh kehidupan bumi bermula
Bangun terkebil-kebil dan lost momentum
Allah. Dilema sangat.
Malam tadi.
Astaghfirullah
Honestly lah isya' macam rushing sikit
sebab nak tidur awal, takut tak mampu bangun awal
Lepas isya', dirikan madrasah malam kejap
masih dengan mindset kena tidur awal
last-last rasa,
kenapa tak hadir perasaan dengan Allah ni?
Too humbled. Ampunkan aku ya Allah
Yang masih bertindak mengikut neraca aku dan bukan Engkau.
Sampai akhirnya berkata
kenapa nak rush? bukankah Allah pemilik dan pencipta tidur tu?
Astaghfirullah. Aku mahu Engkau ya Allah.
Maka tidur malam itu lebih kurang jam dua belas setengah.
Tanpa alarm, aku niat nak bangun tiga setengah
Dan tiba-tiba memang terbangun sendiri
Tapi rasa berat sangat kepala
Dan niat nak bangun pukul empat
Dan memang terbangun sendiri pukul empat tepat
Bila benar-benar meletakkan Allah pemilik tidur tu,
memang Allah lah yang menjadi pemiliknya.
Ya ghafur.
Allahumma ballighna ramadhan.
Sampaikanlah dengan 'sampai' yang sebenar, menurut neracaMu,
Friday, June 20, 2014
Attached
I unconciously exhibit this habit of loving to be surrounded by nature whilst reciting the Qur'an. Yeah, since STCUK i suggest.
Alhamdulillah.
A huge thing did actually happen through the STC
I was asking from Allah to give me something from the camp
Asking intensively.
Yet all the juzu's of the Qur'an i recite fulfilling my mutabaah along the STC..
Endlessly asked me to ponder upon the nature..
the sky, the heaven, the earth, the sea, the wind, the plants
Ya ghafur..
And all those ayahs were repeated many timess.
There are even times when I thought I mistakenly read the same page twice. Because the ayahs are identical. Even the story in it. Ya salam...
I know what Allah meant by that..
No other. Than that He really meant those ayahs.
He really meant me to literally look, see, observe, ponder, and think to the end of human capacity..
of His greatness.
Ya ghaffar..
It struck into my heart deeply especially that one special moment..
By the side of the Angle Tarn lake
A lake on top of the mountains
When I sat facing the lake..
continuing my recitals
And I came across the verse 27:88
He mentioned that we thought the mountains are staying still
but they are actually moving
just as how the skies are moving
Subhanallah
I was humbled
I was stunned
This time. It was like Allah was holding my face intensely towards those mountains
Now. this time. Look.
Allah had really give me an amazing verse.
The mountains?
moving?
I was at that time, very close to the skies,
because it was uphill,
and they were moving damn fast.
And O Allah, Your mountains are moving..
That fast??
Ya ghafur. Ya rahman.
You ask for something from Allah.
When you are actually drowned. immensely. in those greatness.
Yet you ignored.
You ask some sign from Allah.
As if He never gave you any.
When it's you who deafened your ears, sealed your eyes, blocked your mind
from seeing..
In the midst of those greatness
In the midst of the wordlessly perfect creature
Is he telling you
If that cant make you return
Nothing else could
Ya ghafur.
To you belong all these greatness.
To you I return.
Alhamdulillah.
A huge thing did actually happen through the STC
I was asking from Allah to give me something from the camp
Asking intensively.
Yet all the juzu's of the Qur'an i recite fulfilling my mutabaah along the STC..
Endlessly asked me to ponder upon the nature..
the sky, the heaven, the earth, the sea, the wind, the plants
Ya ghafur..
And all those ayahs were repeated many timess.
There are even times when I thought I mistakenly read the same page twice. Because the ayahs are identical. Even the story in it. Ya salam...
I know what Allah meant by that..
No other. Than that He really meant those ayahs.
He really meant me to literally look, see, observe, ponder, and think to the end of human capacity..
of His greatness.
Ya ghaffar..
It struck into my heart deeply especially that one special moment..
By the side of the Angle Tarn lake
A lake on top of the mountains
When I sat facing the lake..
continuing my recitals
And I came across the verse 27:88
He mentioned that we thought the mountains are staying still
but they are actually moving
just as how the skies are moving
Subhanallah
I was humbled
I was stunned
This time. It was like Allah was holding my face intensely towards those mountains
Now. this time. Look.
Allah had really give me an amazing verse.
The mountains?
moving?
I was at that time, very close to the skies,
because it was uphill,
and they were moving damn fast.
And O Allah, Your mountains are moving..
That fast??
Ya ghafur. Ya rahman.
You ask for something from Allah.
When you are actually drowned. immensely. in those greatness.
Yet you ignored.
You ask some sign from Allah.
As if He never gave you any.
When it's you who deafened your ears, sealed your eyes, blocked your mind
from seeing..
In the midst of those greatness
In the midst of the wordlessly perfect creature
Is he telling you
If that cant make you return
Nothing else could
Ya ghafur.
To you belong all these greatness.
To you I return.
Cukup-cukup
Benarlah kalau jadi orang biasa-biasa
mungkin duit berkepuk-kepuk
Tapi bila join jalan ini
wang, selalu saja cukup-cukup
atau, kurang.
Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal
syukur sangat-sangat
Inilah mungkin fasa paling lama aku pernah lalu begitu
Sebab terlibat dengan misi bantuan Syria
Sekali lalu je duit habis untuk tiket flight
sekarang Jun.
Beli souvenirs untuk family.
masyaAllah. :')
1) Allah benar-benar mengajar aku memilih keperluan. keperluan saja. dah tak payah nak jeling-jeling tingkap kedai kalau takde dalam senarai.
2) Aku belajar berbelanja dengan bertujuan. berbelanja cara orang ada tujuan hidup. kalau sebelum ni. jujurnya memang tak heran lah kalau apa yang dibeli tak worth sangat duit yang dibayar. Gaya orang tak sayang duit. Sekarang, nak tak nak, keadaan benar-benar push aku untuk matang berfikir, matang berbelanja. Ya Rahman :')
3) Belajar lebih berdikari dan kreatif? Instead of beli, aku akan cuba sehabis baik masak sendiri, bawak bekal. dan masak, memang based on apa yang ada. belasah sajaa.
Segala puji buat yang Maha Kaya.
hikmah yang, aku mungkin takkan dapat tanpa fasa ini.
Dan aku yakin, ini bukti Allah sayang.
mungkin duit berkepuk-kepuk
Tapi bila join jalan ini
wang, selalu saja cukup-cukup
atau, kurang.
Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal
syukur sangat-sangat
Inilah mungkin fasa paling lama aku pernah lalu begitu
Sebab terlibat dengan misi bantuan Syria
Sekali lalu je duit habis untuk tiket flight
sekarang Jun.
Beli souvenirs untuk family.
masyaAllah. :')
1) Allah benar-benar mengajar aku memilih keperluan. keperluan saja. dah tak payah nak jeling-jeling tingkap kedai kalau takde dalam senarai.
2) Aku belajar berbelanja dengan bertujuan. berbelanja cara orang ada tujuan hidup. kalau sebelum ni. jujurnya memang tak heran lah kalau apa yang dibeli tak worth sangat duit yang dibayar. Gaya orang tak sayang duit. Sekarang, nak tak nak, keadaan benar-benar push aku untuk matang berfikir, matang berbelanja. Ya Rahman :')
3) Belajar lebih berdikari dan kreatif? Instead of beli, aku akan cuba sehabis baik masak sendiri, bawak bekal. dan masak, memang based on apa yang ada. belasah sajaa.
Segala puji buat yang Maha Kaya.
hikmah yang, aku mungkin takkan dapat tanpa fasa ini.
Dan aku yakin, ini bukti Allah sayang.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Customized Tarbiah
"kakak-kakak mungkin boleh ada hadaf tertentu untuk adik-adik,
tapi selebihnya adalah antara antunna dengan Allah.
hadaf, dan apa yang antunna sendiri nak daripada Allah.
Allah mesti ada special hadaf
dan tarbiah yang di-customize khas untuk setiap seorang daripada antunna"
kan tak sah.
kalau jumpa akhawat,
kalau tak borak panjang.
marah diri sendiri
yang gemar bercakap
yang tak perlu
"jom istighfar,
entah-entah apa yang kita cakap tadi,
Allah tak redha pun"
tapi selebihnya adalah antara antunna dengan Allah.
hadaf, dan apa yang antunna sendiri nak daripada Allah.
Allah mesti ada special hadaf
dan tarbiah yang di-customize khas untuk setiap seorang daripada antunna"
kan tak sah.
kalau jumpa akhawat,
kalau tak borak panjang.
marah diri sendiri
yang gemar bercakap
yang tak perlu
"jom istighfar,
entah-entah apa yang kita cakap tadi,
Allah tak redha pun"
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