Remembrance of late Wan.

I write. So I remember.




Wan. It has been three years that you are bed-ridden. I am pleased, and pleasured, if you leaving - is the better option.

I witnessed your healthy days. That you are, as energetic as young adults are. I remember days, when I have to rush to the bathroom as soon as I open my eyes early in the morning before fajr, so that you don't enter before me. With your slow paced-walk, and weak backbones that are no longer straight, I envy you at how istiqamah you are with night prayers.

You. are more bashful than young ladies. You keep your voice low, tidy up your room neat, and eat with manners. Gadis kampung - that is you.

As I received the news of you. I tried keeping calm but I can't deny I lose focus.

The surprise snow that falls in the midst of spring, is like tears, that weeps upon your passing. And like the rain, that calms the sadness of the weeping hearts.

Still, looking cool. But bursts as I prostrate in my prayers. Only to You Allah, that I can't lie.

I miss.

Feeding you with your favourite food.
Listening to you about the historic times of Tanah Melayu.
Reciting Qur'an to you, when reciting alone makes me sleepy.
Massaging your swollen muscle, till you fall asleep.
Walk passing your room, with the lights on.
And you holding my hand tight, as I bid farewell before leaving for the Uni.




Opened the Quran to finish my Kahf. And there the first verse,

"That is how We show to human, 

so that they know, 

that His promise is true, 

that there is no doubt 

upon the Day of Judgement"

Teary as I am completing my Kahf. And sometimes paused as the the tears overwhelmed. It's painfully hard to face this Allah. And continue to the next page,

"And be patient with those 

who call for their Lord 

in the morning 

and during the dusk, 

wanting His pleasure.."